(When I saw said lump, I was by the windmill across from McDonalds.)
Upon moving closer, the little lump meowed and ran away from me!
Well I was stunned. I mean I really hate humans, but I really adore cute little fuzzy aminals like kittens, snakes, fancy Russian dwarf hamsters, and the like.
Of course my maternal instincts kicked in. Ew.
I saw where the kitty had run,
[Oh, and Btdubbs. This wasn't a huge old fat cat, he seemed to be about a month old]
and I followed him. He was meowing really fucking loud, like he was dying or something. But, as soon as I walked towards him, he ran away. Little bitch. I told him to stay, and went into Ralphs
(conveniently placed a few short steps away) and purchased some kitty tuna for liiiike 78 cents. Good pricing, since I only had a dollar.
I returned to Bitchy Kitty, and offered him the tuna. He ran away again.
Stupid fucker.
It was by this point that i really wanted to just save this fucking cat so I could go home, because it was twelve in the morning.
But kitty couldn't go easy on me. So he ran into a huge bush. A fucking BUSH. After trying to coax him out for about thirty minutes, a taxi driver pulled up and offered me a ride home. I said no, since I had no money and was trying to save this kitten. (sounds heroic, I know.) The nice man said that money was slow this time of night, so he'd love t0 help me find the kitten. (he was a great dude.)
Taxi dude found me a large stick, i put tuna on it, and we tried to get kitty out for another fucking hour. At 1:30 in the morning he had to go pick up a client, so I was left to fend for myself. He was nice though. Kitty ran even farther away into a sidestreet.
I was so fucking fed up by now.
I just sprinted towards this little spit fuck, making him run faster away.
I gave up.
I started to cross the street, got whistled at, screamed Exorcist style at the whistler, and heard (of course) little Cunt Kitty's meow.
I went back across the street to try one last time.
THE CAT WAS UNDER THE FUCKING DUMPSTER.
It was now around 2 o'clock in the FUCKING morning.
Another taxi driver man pulled up (driving a Prius taxi to my surprise) and offered me a ride home. I told him about the evil cat. he tried to help me, but when we finally got the kitty cornered, he hissed at me and bit me. Stupid little fucking piece of shit.
I really gave up.
Prius taxi guy offered to give me a free ride home.
I (gratefully) accepted.
He drove me home, gave me his cards, we shook hands, I found out his name is Fred (the color of a winner, I hope you noticed) and I went inside my apartment.
Exhausted, beaten, scratched, and really pissed off, I realized I had left my new pretty blue flats inside of Fred's car.
ggrrreeeeaaaattttt.
I called him, and he had my shoes so he drove them back to me.
And wouldn't let me give him any money.
Such a cool dude.
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